A few hours ago, I had this terrible urge to go on LiveJournal and Xanga and view everyone's old accounts as well as mine. I've wondered when and why I had stopped writing in journals. Writing used to be my escape and it helped me get through a lot of "life's tendencies" to shoot me in the back and trample me while I writhed in my own---

Anyway.

I've realized that I came to fear not only what life was throwing at me (or what I was throwing myself into) but also my emotions, my thoughts, and essentially my mind. To be able to let go and write freely in a journal never took a lot out of me before until I stepped away from it. But I think I need this now. Frankly, I was encouraged to keep writing because it made me feel better that some people were reading my entries. It made me feel like I wasn't alone, even if they couldn't relate to what I was going through. Everyone needs a listener and well, I don't feel that I have that anymore.

But I'm going to try to write for myself. A lot of these entries will be vents on Private or oddities and perhaps artwork/poems on Friends. If you still want to friend me after reading this psychotic entry, feel free - I'm not stopping you.